#5

oooh here goes

In Orlando, mistakenly known as the hottest place on earth, there are one or two theme parks that have been constructed to provide little-to-no shade. this, one would assume, is to increase beverage sales. however, everyone who works there knows it's actually a government conspiracy to decrease the population and get ride of a few choice internationals while they're at it. To mask their motives, many of these parks have installed fans on the corners and on queues that mist water so as too cool and moisten. As if the sweaty guests need anymore humidity, right? I mean...at least they can strip and wear next to nothing. You should see the poor employees over @ Universal's Shrek attraction..By poor I mean that yes, they're getting paid minimum wage, but also they um...well you should sympathize with them. they're wearing shrek's clothes. in the 100 degree weather. And then they made that rule at Twister that we HAD to wear USF-issued-long jeans. Not shorts. and not jeans that actually fit. we had to wear jeans apparently for inner-show-safety. UM i didn't fall once and you wanna talk about safety? go wash the rain jackets dammit they smell like jason's armpits. My least favorite Universal wardrobe moment was when one morning, Jim spilled syrup on me on the way over from the Grille. I had to walk back to wardrobe, and get new jeans...and the woman handed me jeans that were supposedly my size...um...i haven't been a size 10 since I was oh...10. And they had to dig around for new jeans for me...ew. They wouldn't fit right anyway because they taper at the ankles...my point IS that New York should invest in, and install, the misty fan things...it might piss some blackberry owners off, but at least we'd stay cool. and the market for silk shirts would die.

I have another complaint against hte city. Non-porous sidewalks. Last night it rained--poured even--and i walked from 31st and 2nd to 46th and 7th...in said rain. Now, as it's summer, I and another 89% of New York are wearing flip flops. 90% of that percent are wearing FOAM flip flps. like mine. the kind that will slip on tile. Fine, you say, stay off tile...hahahaha not that easy. Per sfortunato nella 34 strada sono molti locali con passagiatti that are non porous. You'll recognize them by their orangy marble tint. sheen. Unfortunately, the city has seen fit to install said non-porous--though very nice looking--granite on many corners, not just directly enfrente de las bodegas. In the rain, with foam flip flops, your'e gonna slip. In order to cross said material, one must focus one's mind and put all the weight into the arches of your feet so that your heels and the balls of your feet down forsake you. I however craved so strongly to go barefoot on the street. boo city. boo.

Trolman, Glaser & Lichtman: Attorneys at Law. Las Abogados Numero Uno Para Los Hispanos Heridos en Accidentes. 1-888-MARGARITA.....wait what???

I don't think "chicly" is a word...as in "Radically chic. Chicly radical." But Williamstown (BKLYN) thinks it is...

I don't understand how so many people can wear SO much white/tan/beige. 1) ew. 2) um...pen...other things? 3) public transportation. 4) sweat. 5) rain.
Yeah, i know it's cooler, but go get yourself a personal fan or something. They sell them at every corner store. $4.99-10.99 each. Invest. I do NOT however condone buying one of the disney/universal mister fans. First of all, expensive. Second, they EAT batteries. 3. huge. 4. if your kid sprays me in the face with one, YOU'RE getting shoved onto the tracks. and there's no eyes-everywhere 24-hr disney security to stop me.

Also, re: the white thing. No one's teeth are perfect. not THAT white. You're dooming yourself to ugly comparison.

And one more city of NY sidewalk complaint. Today Ali and I were walkin up Park and I slipped on non-porous concrete tile. my knee is now changing colors and my ass hurts. Other than that i'm fine ut...i mean of course, let's face it, i've gone down in a full split doing that before and i've been fine...but it still hurts...

I'm not on the subway this second, but i'll allow it. There was a huge crowd outside xanadu tonight. i'm guessing for Cheyenne Jackson (whom Bill refers to as Mizz Jackson). (side note, some spanish guy just walked by and said "Lezz-Mieez-ehr-ahb-lezz...is dat a spanishhh playyy?") Good for them. I may be against musicals based on movies (for emotionally aesthetic reasons) but it's still a creative gig. There are a lot of shows that fail--based on books, movies, original works...a painting...they all succeed or fail. They all have stage managers and actors and directors and equity contracts and stage hands and agents and tara rubin and award potential and lighting designers and fans. Nothing is completely empty. And that's an artistic beauty. And while I try to stay away from condenced emotion-turned theatrical expansion, I still respect their stage process and their right to exist. But let's face it. Somethings should never happen. A show is like a human life. It can be taken away at any moment. But it should not be denied the right to live based on who its parents are.

If one more spamalot audience member steps on my toes while skipping to "I am not dead yet" i'm going to push them into traffic.

I don't remember the last time I saw the St. James theatre sans Producers marquis. Anyone know what was playing there in May of '96? that would have been the last time.

I kind of wish--I said this before--I wish I'd found Jack Kerouac before college...I'd be one hell of a hippie bum. I love sitting in the city at night...watching different people wlak by. They think me strange for sitting here wriing, but I'd rather be the strange ny street part of their experience than sitting in my hot bedroom hating the world. There's a cool post-rain breeze right now.

One day, I say, I'll meld with these stones, these walls, these parapets, these doors--and you'll never see me look back. Because I'll be who I want to be. And you'll know I'm there.

Sometimes, sitting on these streets, I feel like I'm paying homage to a theatre god...praying if you will. But my hands never meet, and my lips never mutter. Prayer, here, is different.

A girl...13? 14? just walked out crying to her dad "whyyy did she go with Raouuuuulllll?!!?!?!?!?! *sob*"

Thank you. With you, I know I never have to worry...because I know you'll ask.

Thank god Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters and Carol Burnet were on my iPod.

Today I fell in love with a bird. at Petco. His name is Sapphire. If anyone has $550 they'd like to share, i'd greatly appreciate it. And please get Sapphire, the show off, not Disney, the bird that likes to play dead just to get a neck rub.

i'm gonna need a new subway notebook soon

Top 5 non-musical-movie sountracks (in no real order)
Pirates (1)
Godsford Park (ohhh Chris and Jeremy Northam...)
Pride & Prejudice (BBC of course)
Atlantis (Disney)
You've got mail (c'mon...cranberries AND the puppy song?)

Cheat on New York..hmm...Dear Delta...unless you're paying for my ticket to the Bahamas...oh....OHHhhh...Jet Blue OWES me a flight!!! AHHHH!!! that's amazing!!!

If I was homeless...well...I'm not very talented...I could sing along in italian to the two mexican guys at union square playing time to say goodbye on flute and violin. other than that i can play the entertainer, the rose, and some jewish wedding song on piano...and that's it folks.