#14

I think I'm getting happier as the days go on. Not that I wasn't happy before, but I'm rediscovering my passions and finding people I can share those passions with.

A year ago, if you had asked me if I was happy, my answer would have been "for the moment" whereas now it's "yes."

A year ago, if you'd asked me a LOT of questions the answers would be different.

Like "what are your dreams"...very different answer.

August 7 last year was a Monday. This year it's a Tuesday. So it goes. Changes continue to happen. And ideas and dreams are just a little bit skewed.

I am in love with life. With all that affects me to the point of change. Every new path requires soemone to shove nature aside and tread on it before it becomes a path...See, even that which seems bad leads to good.

I'm finally excited by and about life. I finally have something to look foward to--Me. I finally understand the presence of negatives. No matter how much someone tries to put me down, I know that I'm ending as the better person. Bitter about very little, loving so very muh, and appreciating much more.

Ahh, the mid-day local. Quiet, cold, a little slow, nice. I know I tend to harp on MTA buses and mid-day locals. I'll get over it one day.

My hand is healing slowly...but healing. Not like I was ever going to be a hand model. I think we established that when I was 4 and started biting my nails, and then when I was 10 and got the coolest scar on my finger. Damn bike. *shakes fist* ruined my dreams of modeling for dove.

I'm kidding.

Whoever told you
that those pants were okay?
They were lying
or incompetent.
spring-green patterned linen
with room for two
never.
Whoever told you
cadet goes with cerulean.
they were mistaken
whoever told you
those lace up sandals
make sense?
Was it jesus? or Moses?
It doesn't look good for you
But you don't care
with your blue-tinted glasses
and khaki purse.
your hair cut in
all directions
you're you and that's
all that matters

You know what I thought was interesting...in Hunchback (Disney) Quasimodo is kind and humble even though Frollo has always been false and cruel to him. But in Hugo's Notre-Dame, the point is that Frollo WAS kind to him. Humbled him, surely, but was good to him. How does Disney make sense of that? Esmeralda is correct in her inquisition as to how such a "cruel man" could raise such a kind person.

Tonight was amazing. And riding the train home to "Comptine" is making me....beatific.

Tempos off, notes not...that's beautiful.

That's exactly what it is. The tempos are off, but the notes are not. We're singing the same song just in different rooms. Through the walls of our lives we cannot see the same conductor. The soul puzzle. It's so much more beautiful and makes so much more sense now.

I don't think I've ever known so many sweet people as I do right now in my life.