#16

So many options, and unfotunately all of them happening at the same time. I know what I WANT to do but not what I CAN do. 'm so wrapped up in loyalty and knowing my rent is paid for…do I stay safe and work the two easiest together? Or do I drop the most consistent job I've had in ages to do something ig. Maybe go to California. I have no idea.

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I don't even know if I WOULD go to California. But the possibility's a little daunting. And then what happens after.

There's a man sitting next to me w/ a cage. In it is either a med-size parrot or a large parakeet. He's beautiful.I want one. And I hope this guy's subway stop has an elevator.

So many good people. I wish I could do more to help.

This is a great post-theatre express train. Not TOO full. Quiet, besides the parrot. Not cold. Not warm. Just right.

I'm longing to do a show partly because I miss the show mentality, the community, the ability to say I'm working ON something instead of just I'm working for… I think that's my life's ambition. To be woring ON something. The idea which overposers working FOR someone.

I need life change but consistent…

I'm getting home sooner than I thought. Two stops away and it's only been 13 minutes. I love it when it works that way. Straight from turnstile to express, from express to local, no waiting, and from local to home.

If what you have is a home. I haven't really given that much thought. What I know is that what I'm living is life and home or "house" or "apt" doesn't amtter yet.